Hate your job? Tell us about it.
I wear a lot of hats at my job, but the story I am about to convey involves the used car salesman hat. I was out on the lot with a potential customer one steamy afternoon, trying to sell an old passenger van and talking it up like it was a real gem. We were looking it over, walking, talking, and kicking the tires, but as we reached the end of the vehicle, I noticed something strange. Upon closer inspection, some vagrant or acrobat had laid out the longest, straightest, most incredibly placed turd on the back of the bumper of the vehicle. It boggled the mind as to how the feces ended up there, so perfectly laid out along the length of the bumper. Hardly being able to contain my laughter as the customer came around the rear of the vehicle, I chuckled, "That, we will throw at no extra charge to you sir!"
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September 22, 2009 at 12:36 pm by The Colonel
in - Co-workers
There are a couple of guys in my office who are obsessed with their bowel movements and talk about them to each other within hearing of co-workers and customers. Every detail is discussed. How did it smell? Was it messy, a lot of paperwork? One of these guys even took a picture of his shit with his cellphone and tried to show it to everyone in the office. Farting is also a big topic with these guys.
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October 17, 2009 at 8:13 pm by strummer
in - Co-workers
Someone brought in brownies, and left them on the conference table in a box. They'd brought them before and they are delicious. When I got in later, hardly any had been eaten. It turns out that one of our disgusting co-workers (who is constantly picking his nose) picked through them all and then took the one he wanted and cut it in half with his thumb. Then he put the rest back in the box. We threw them out.
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September 10, 2009 at 5:42 am by Anonymous
in - Co-workers
There is a woman who works in our office that is always saying crazy things and then just walking away. Like the time she asked out of the blue if I had ever stayed at a Doubletree hotel and before waiting for an answer declared: "They put mints on your pillows!" and walked away.
One day, she was talking animatedly to a co-worker. On delivering a sassy line, she attempted a classic 'oh-no-you-didn't'head wobble when the horrible wig she always wore flew straight off her head and into the floor. The co-worker she was speaking to was a cool customer, he didn't
miss a beat he just went right on talking as if nothing happened while everyone around them erupting in laughter. Most memorably, a friend of mine who fell out of his chair from laughing so hard. Our job sucks, but that was a great day.
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September 18, 2009 at 4:01 pm by Swingline
in - Co-workers