There is a woman who works in our office that is always saying crazy things and then just walking away. Like the time she asked out of the blue if I had ever stayed at a Doubletree hotel and before waiting for an answer declared: "They put mints on your pillows!" and walked away.
One day, she was talking animatedly to a co-worker. On delivering a sassy line, she attempted a classic 'oh-no-you-didn't'head wobble when the horrible wig she always wore flew straight off her head and into the floor. The co-worker she was speaking to was a cool customer, he didn't
miss a beat he just went right on talking as if nothing happened while everyone around them erupting in laughter. Most memorably, a friend of mine who fell out of his chair from laughing so hard. Our job sucks, but that was a great day.
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September 18, 2009 at 4:01 pm by Swingline
in - Co-workers
I rode to work the first day with another guy who worked in the same office. I knew him through a roommate but not very well. I lived near him, and his offer to carpool seemed reasonable. Our office is downtown in a city I had just moved to, so I didn't know my way around. He seemed okay but a little too eager to help me out. When we drove home that afternoon, he told me how glad he was that we were friends, because he didn't think he could have friends again after some guy had stabbed him in the back. He said that it was even worse, as they were "intimate" and I continued trying to change the subject, while reminding him that I didn't really know him that well. My bag was in the back seat, and when we got to his place he locked the car before I could get it. He tried to walk away and kept trying to get me to come in to his apartment. He refused to unlock the car until I threatened to break a window out, then he pretended to be joking with me. It was a pretty bad first day.
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September 22, 2009 at 9:49 am by cracklepop
in - Co-workers
I wear a lot of hats at my job, but the story I am about to convey involves the used car salesman hat. I was out on the lot with a potential customer one steamy afternoon, trying to sell an old passenger van and talking it up like it was a real gem. We were looking it over, walking, talking, and kicking the tires, but as we reached the end of the vehicle, I noticed something strange. Upon closer inspection, some vagrant or acrobat had laid out the longest, straightest, most incredibly placed turd on the back of the bumper of the vehicle. It boggled the mind as to how the feces ended up there, so perfectly laid out along the length of the bumper. Hardly being able to contain my laughter as the customer came around the rear of the vehicle, I chuckled, "That, we will throw at no extra charge to you sir!"
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September 22, 2009 at 12:36 pm by The Colonel
in - Co-workers
I used to have a job packaging fancy-schmancy organic candles produced with recycled wax. In addition to tying pretty little bows, I was also involved in the creative process. I would comment on whether or not a scent combination was appealing or what color would work best with a certain smell. One day, my boss was thoughtfully pondering an ivory pillar with a woman from the local small business association when I came in. When I said hello, he explained that he had a new scent and they both agreed it was wonderful but he couldn't think of a name. Most of his candles were named generic things like "Wedding Cake" or just a list of the essential oils used "Lavender Lilac and Rosemary". The candle was positioned under my nose. The smell was like cologne and soap and firewood, pleasant but very masculine and I said so.
My boss then said, "It smells like a clean man." I saw a light going off in his head, he turned to us thoughtfully said, "Clean Man."
Yes, "Clean Man" was his genius idea for a candle name. I wish I had a picture of the woman's face when he said that. She looked like she smelled a clean man fart.
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September 25, 2009 at 4:12 pm by TheGenius
in - Co-workers